⚠ WARNING: THERE IS NO RESPAWN IN HELL ⚠ NO SAVE POINTS ⚠ NO PAUSE BUTTON ⚠ NO LOBBY ⚠ THE FINAL BOSS IS JUDGMENT AND YOU ARE UNDERLEVELED ⚠ REPENT OR GG ⚠
Westbyte Baptist Church · Bethel Ridge, Kansas
GOD HATES FRAGS
www.GodHatesFrags.com
Warning a wicked, joystick-wiggling generation since 1996, the year QUAKE was loosed upon the Earth.
“As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.”
Proverbs 26:11 (written in the margin of every save file that says “one more match”)
★ NEW ★ Our 4,000th picket is coming up. The Lord has no “AFK” status. We are coming to a GameStop near you.
Our Signs
Every sign below was carried, in love, in front of a midnight game launch. Held at the correct angle, a sign reaches the eyeballs of an entire queue of 14-year-olds in Naruto headbands.
God Hates Frags
Thank God for Lag
Campers Burn in Hell
No Respawn in Hell
Loot Boxes = Gambling = Damnation
WASDWalking And Sinning Daily
Pray for 300 Ping
Teabagging Is Sin
Your K/D Can't Save You
Thank God for Rage Quits
Hell Has No Pause Button
GG= God's Grief
Rocket Jumping Is Not Ascension
God Hates “One More Turn”
Thank God for Server Outages
Mouse + Keyboard = Mark of the Beast
The Tally of Iniquity
Our deacons compute these figures in real time on a Texas Instruments calculator they have sworn not to play Drug Wars on.
0hours of Christian fellowship lost to video games since you opened this page
0souls currently trapped in “one more turn”
0teabags administered worldwide today (the Lord sees every crouch)
Picket Schedule
We picket in love, at legal distance, and with fresh AA batteries in the megaphone.
Date
Location
Why
Sat Oct 10 9:00–9:45am
The GameStop by the Dillard's, Bethel Ridge Mall
The money-changers' temple, now offering trade-in credit on your immortal soul. Jesus flipped tables; we will flip the bargain bin.
Sun Oct 11 after service
Bethel Ridge Community Center, Room B
An unlicensed LAN party. They call the room “The Battleground.” The Lord calls it Gomorrah with Ethernet.
Sat Oct 17 6:30–7:15pm
Sunflower State Esports Arena
Grown men paid to click while thousands cheer. Revelation foretold it. Probably. It's a long book.
Thu Oct 22 11:00am
Bethel Ridge Public Library
Free Wi-Fi is how the Serpent got into Eden. Also they have a Switch in the teen room.
Sat Oct 31 dusk
Every porch handing candy to a child dressed as Master Chief
Rewarding the costume rewards the Halo. We will be bringing tracts and no candy.
Fri Nov 13 11:59pm
Any midnight launch, any franchise, any sequel
A people that will stand in line until midnight for a game and will not stand in line for the Lord. Bring a lawn chair.
Thu Nov 26 2:00pm
Grandma's house, the dining room
Cousin Tyler brought his Switch to the Thanksgiving table. LAST YEAR. We have not forgotten. We will never forget, Tyler.
News Releases
OCT 03 2026
VIKING SERVER RESTARTED BY ADMIN; 15 MINUTES OF PROGRESS ERASED. GOD'S WRATH IS SWIFT AND HAS NO AUTOSAVE.
Word reaches us of a Valheim server whose container was restarted, and fifteen whole minutes of chopping, sailing and dying to a troll were swept away like the chaff before the wind. The players wept and gnashed their teeth on Discord.
Did they not know? The Lord giveth, and the Lord restarteth the container. Your autosave interval was a test of faith, and you failed it. Build ye not your longhouse upon a Docker volume.
SEP 21 2026
CHILDREN CAUGHT BUILDING TOWER OF BABEL OUT OF DIRT
A Minecraft server in Ohio has reached build height with a tower made entirely of dirt blocks. Genesis 11 was a warning, not a tutorial. When the Lord confounded the language at Babel, He did not mean the kids should invent a new one in the chat box. “Skibidi” is not in the Concordance. We checked twice.
SEP 02 2026
SPEEDRUNNERS EXPLOIT GLITCH TO SKIP JUDGMENT
So-called “speedrunners” clip through walls, skip entire levels, and arrive at the end credits in eleven minutes. There is no Any% to Heaven. There is no wrong-warp past the pearly gates. Saint Peter has the full route memorized and he is watching your splits.
AUG 15 2026
ULTIMA ONLINE STILL RUNNING AFTER 29 YEARS; BRITANNIA OUTLASTS ACTUAL EMPIRES
Babylon fell. Rome fell. Blockbuster fell. Yet the shard servers of Britannia stand, and men in their fifties still gather at the bank in Britain to stack gold coins and murder each other outside the city gates. They call it “PK.” The Book calls it Cain.
And they carve their names upon a guildstone. A graven image! An obelisk! The golden calf at least had the decency to be gold.
JUL 30 2026
PLUMBER STOMPS TURTLES, EATS MUSHROOMS, ABANDONS PRINCESS “IN ANOTHER CASTLE”; NATION GIVES HIM A SECOND MOVIE
For forty years this mustachioed tradesman has crushed God's creatures beneath his boots and eaten wild mushrooms, which makes him grow, which is drugs. He has never once finished a plumbing job. And Hollywood rewards him. This is the America our forefathers bled for?
JUL 04 2026
FRAGS DOOM NATIONS: A STATEMENT ON AMERICA'S 250TH BIRTHDAY
Two hundred and fifty years ago, men pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. Today their descendants pledge their lives to a battle pass. Tier 100 is not Heaven. The cosmetic skin will not be buried with you. Well, it will be on the hard drive, which will be buried with you, but that's not the point.
Society's Woes, and the Game Responsible
Our research department (Deacon Earl and a library card) has traced every affliction of modern life back to its source. The source is the TV in your basement.
Inflation. V-Bucks. Robux. Gems. Gold. A people that will pay twelve dollars for a pretend hat cannot be surprised by the price of real hats.
The price of eggs. Yoshi. Every single day, Yoshi.
Back pain. Gaming chairs. They look like racecar seats and they go nowhere, much like your life.
The decline of the handshake. Hands that once greeted a neighbor now clutch a controller, and a controller has never once asked after your mother.
Divorce. “Just let me finish this match.” The match ended. So did the marriage.
Children who don't play outside. They do play outside. It is just Pokémon GO, and they are trespassing on our lawn for a Snorlax.
Potholes. Grand Theft Auto taught a generation that a car is a thing you drive on the sidewalk. The sidewalk is now also a pothole.
The housing crisis. The young cannot afford a home because they spent the down payment on lumber in Valheim, Minecraft and The Sims.
Low church attendance. Sunday morning is when the servers are least crowded. They know. Oh, they know.
Everyone's cousin now says “let's go.” Let's go WHERE, Tyler? Not to church, apparently.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does God hate frags?
A “frag” is when one young man kills another young man with a rocket launcher in a fictional space arena and then types “lol” about it. God made man from the dust of the earth, not from a gib. Read your Bible. It is not on Steam.
Do you really believe video games caused society's woes?
Yes. See the list. Before Pong there was no sin at all, except for the sins that existed before Pong, which were mostly pinball's fault.
Are any video games acceptable?
No. Not even Bible Adventures for the Nintendo Entertainment System, which had Noah lifting a cow over his head. That is not in Genesis. Wisdom Tree tried to trick us, and we will not be tricked again.
What about board games? Chess? Cards?
Monopoly teaches usury. Candy Land is gluttony with a map. Chess is a war simulator in which the bishops move diagonally, which is sideways, which is how the wicked walk. Solitaire came pre-installed on Windows 95, which tells you everything you need to know about Windows 95.
Didn't your youth pastor play Halo?
Brother Darryl is no longer with this congregation. He lives with his mother in Wichita. We found four thousand hours on his Steam account and a headset in the baptismal font.
Is it a sin to watch someone else play?
Twitch is the moneychangers in the temple, except the temple has a camera in the corner and the moneychangers are yelling “THANK YOU FOR THE FIVE GIFTED SUBS.” Watching sin is participating in sin. Also you could be watching our sermons, which have nearly forty views.
What should I do if my child asks for a gaming console for Christmas?
Give them a Bible and a rock. If they ask what the rock is for, tell them it has no microtransactions.